hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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