you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
