So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
