I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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