She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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