She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
