I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
