a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He felt like a one man threesome
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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