I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
