dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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