Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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