I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
