i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
