thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
