she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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