Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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