I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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