spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
