I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
