Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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