You don't have asthma, your pregnant
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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