I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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