Swine flu. Run for my life!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
