Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
