I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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