Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
