I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just high enough for therapy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
