quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
