She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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