why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize