i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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