Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Buhtt sex?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
