Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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