where am i from again
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
