woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
