Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
