I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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