Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
