No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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