That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize