My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
