Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
