why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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