I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
last night I used snow as a chaser
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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