i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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