They should really pass out barf bags in church
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
