I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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