how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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