you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
