I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
