Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
