at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There's always time for handjobs
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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