We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
