So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Help. Why am I so naked?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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