Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
