Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
