i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There r osticjed everywhere
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
