We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
