I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
