Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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