she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
