If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
