Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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